Chandler Bing

I was sitting in a hotel lobby with Ross, Rachel, Pheobe, Joey, and Monica – yes, the cast of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.. The conversation topic was intense and serious. Everyone was in a somber mood and torn.

The decision was final.

“Okay let’s do it,” someone said, “we have to kill Chandler.”

We walked up to his hotel room. He was so happy to see us, slow to realize we weren’t as happy to see him.

We grabbed him and tied him to a chair with rope that had a fuse that would go off to set him on fire.

Chandler, confused, said, “I don’t know what’s going on here but I guess if you all think I should die.. you’re my best friends.. if you think I have to die, then I’ll die.”

We were all shaking and weeping nervously. No one wanted to kill him. But we had to. He had done Rachel wrong in some way but it wasn’t clear.

As we left the room for Chandler to die, he told us he loved us all. The group was in tears and heartbroken that they had to take it to this level. As we walked down the staircase back to the lobby, we could hear Chandler screaming in agony. He was certainly on fire now. We could hear him from the lobby now. Everyone was crying hysterically.

“I can’t let this happen!” Rachel says suddenly. “It’s not worth it, I forgive him!”

Rachel runs up to Chandlers room and sets him free. He comes to the lobby and the group hugs one another. Everyone is apologizing and crying at the same time.

Then out of nowhere two black Escalades pull up to the hotel. An FBI agent approaches us, “Where is Chandler Bing’s body?”

“We decided not to kill him,” says Joey.

Impatiently, the FBI agent hands us a briefcase with Chandler’s belongings and drives away.